Change in Plans (again)

Well, it looks like I have a job with Echostar / Dish Network. I went through two interviews and was sent for a drug screen.

Thanks be to God.

I've started to read Walking with God by John Eldredge. I see parallel things going on in my life as compared to his in the following way:

At the end of Labor Day weekend in 2008, Eldredge was thrown from his horse and both his wrists were broken. This effectively put him out of commission for a good long while. This demonstrated to him that God is in control of our lives and not us.

This second layoff has impacted my life as an unwelcome interruption as well.

But God seems to be changing my heart and my perspective on a number of things.

I've been pedal to the medal gung ho about getting a mission started in Parker. This layoff kicked that to the side, just like the layoff in 2007.

In addition, I learned this past Sunday that my home parish has an interest in planting a mission in Colorado Springs, but that Parker is "too close."

There seems to be a 60 mile radius limit or something like that.

Now, I can understand setting up a distance limit, but I disagree strongly with one that large.

Nevertheless, any potential mission in Parker might take a great deal longer than I previously thought. For one thing, a friend of mine from Saint Mark's pointed out that he and his wife don't wish to be involved because doing so would uproot their children from their friends at church.

And this is an excellent point. My kids won't be leaving our nest for 12 years in the case of my oldest, to 15 years in the case of my youngest. Taking them away from Saint Marks would disrupt things for them.

So even if I succeed in generating interest for a new mission, I really shouldn't think about leaving my home parish until my kids go off to college.

It seems that God is more interested in my spiritual development and work at Saint Marks.

I was blessed this past Sunday to be "drafted" to perform Reader duties for the Mass. I was also honored to be given the task of Crucifier as well.

Perhaps its more important to God right now that I focus on His call on my life as a Reader, future Sub-Deacon, Deacon and Priest? I know there is no guarantee that I will ever progress past the point I'm currently at, but if this ordained ministry idea is His idea, then it will move forward. I'll need to be prepared properly.

I know my past two years in the Eastern Orthodox Church has changed me for the better. Just ask my most important and honest critic: my wife.

Like John Eldredge, God was speaking to me this Sunday and through the events of the past week. I was suffering from a crisis of confidence and was prepared to withdraw for a while due to the layoff at BMC West. I was specifically going to avoid Reader duties until I was employed again and doing well.

Instead, Brother David send me an e-mail on Saturday to my other e-mail address that I was on for Reading duties. I didn't get that e-mail until after Sunday was over. Instead, David repeated his request during Sunday School at church, and I said "yes" and went and suited up.

God was indeed fatherly through all of this, and having me carry the cross during the Mass was also a good reminder to die to myself and my specific plans in favor of His better plans.

I'm not totally giving up on the idea of Saint Ambrose Orthodox Church, but I'm seeing that it may be postponed, literally for years.

And I'm okay with this.

Now, Orthodox Parker isn't so much about a new mission, it's about me being Orthodox in Parker: Orthodox in my family life, at my new job, and at my home parish, Saint Marks.

I will attempt to get the Bible Study going again, but the focus will be to simply build up the flock at Saint Marks and not to launch out on my own with the new mission idea.

So, I'll continue my blog, but change the focus.

For now, Rest In Peace, Saint Ambrose Orthodox Church. It's time to build Saint Marks with a South Group that can study God's word and fellowship, making Saint Marks better and more healthy.

Pax Christi,

Columba Silouan.