I'm beginning to formulate a growth strategy based on some new information discovered about Parker and Castle Rock.
Running a constant ad promoting Orthodoxy in the Parker Chronicle is a good place to begin. The content of that ad will depend on the following:
Classes on Orthodoxy can be held for a small fee at the following locations for the not-for-profit rate:
The Parker Recreation Center, The Mainstreet Center, and the Ruth Memorial Chapel all have classroom space that can be rented for a nominal fee. Lemstone Christian Bookstore and the Steaming Bean also have space that can be used.
For vespers services, the Ruth Memorial Chapel in Parker and The Sanctuary at Christs Episcopal Church can be used. More arrangements need to be pursued at Christ's Episcopal Church through their priest Father Rick Meyers.
The Western Rite's Archpriest in our area, Fr. John Charles Connelly, has discouraged the pulling of current members of Saint Mark's Orthodox Church away from the parish in order to start a new mission, but Fr. John seemed to be fine with the attracting of new converts to Orthodoxy.
There is a group of Protestant Christians in our neighborhood that is attempting to go back to "the New Testament Church." These fine people wish to return to the days of the "house church."
If they can be persuaded to "think outside of the box" and meet with my wife and I and perhaps Fr. John Falconi of Saint Columba's, perhaps a strong case for Western Rite Orthodoxy can be presented to them.
By considering them, I, too, am attempting to think "outside of the box."
I must say that although I am greatly pleased by the Divine Liturgy at Saint Marks Antiochian Orthodox Church, I am less than pleased by the way Christian Community is currently practiced there. The church has experienced a wonderful growth spurt, but the "fellowship of the heart" that I've been longing for has yet to be established in my humble opinion.
We have the right theology at Saint Marks, but I believe we need the right Praxis to go along with it. There are many fine people there and I like all of them, but I would like to see more zeal.
There are many new Western Rite parishes coming into the Antiochian Archdiocese from the Charismatic Episcopal Church. At one time, I was a member of that group. I hope that their zeal will add a whole new dimension to the current Western Rite in Orthodoxy.
Orthodoxy can become a dead shrine if we start focusing on it more than the Blessed Trinity. The point of being Orthodox is to know, serve and love God, not to engage in continual self-congratulations that we have found the true faith.
Yes, I, too, have been going through a bit of a dry spell as of late. The layoff didn't help matters and the daily grind of daily life sometimes becomes a burden that swallows up the initial wonder I experienced as a new convert.
But I still believe in Holy Orthodoxy and I still believe that if you take the best thoughts from people like John Eldredge and balance it with Eastern Orthodoxy, you get a potent spiritual medicine.
I'm certain Father Falconi has held on to the best things from his pre-orthodox days. I also believe the new members from the CEC will do the same.
This is my hope, and I hope I can follow suit. There were good things in my spiritual life before I became Orthodox. Those things don't have to go away just because I'm now Orthodox.
Peace of Christ,
Columba Silouan
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
The Substance of the Soul
I was doing some reflection last evening about the stuff our souls are made of.
Here are my thoughts on the matter: I've come to realize that God has created us the way we are on purpose. The life we lead in our body inescapably affects the shape of our soul / spirit.
The Gnostic heresy that the physical world doesn't matter, that it's all about the spirit just doesn't hold up.
God created us as a unity of body and spirit. Our spirits die when we disobey God, our spirits live and develop as we obey God in our bodies.
Before the Fall of Man, this wouldn't have been any big deal. God created Man with a body for a reason. Men will have spiritual bodies in the next life. God created a physical universe for a reason.
Of course, His reason and reasons are way beyond our comprehension, but His reasons were and remain good ones, filled with His wisdom and love.
God didn't create us to stagnate or stand still. When we try to "stop the world" because we want to get off, we hurt the non-physical part of us, too.
God created us to grow for all Eternity. There is no choice but to choose to grow towards God or away from Him.
And we should rejoice that it is so. It is a great gift that He has given to us! Let's do everything in our power to embrace this great gift and use it wisely.
Peace of Christ to all,
Columba Silouan.
Here are my thoughts on the matter: I've come to realize that God has created us the way we are on purpose. The life we lead in our body inescapably affects the shape of our soul / spirit.
The Gnostic heresy that the physical world doesn't matter, that it's all about the spirit just doesn't hold up.
God created us as a unity of body and spirit. Our spirits die when we disobey God, our spirits live and develop as we obey God in our bodies.
Before the Fall of Man, this wouldn't have been any big deal. God created Man with a body for a reason. Men will have spiritual bodies in the next life. God created a physical universe for a reason.
Of course, His reason and reasons are way beyond our comprehension, but His reasons were and remain good ones, filled with His wisdom and love.
God didn't create us to stagnate or stand still. When we try to "stop the world" because we want to get off, we hurt the non-physical part of us, too.
God created us to grow for all Eternity. There is no choice but to choose to grow towards God or away from Him.
And we should rejoice that it is so. It is a great gift that He has given to us! Let's do everything in our power to embrace this great gift and use it wisely.
Peace of Christ to all,
Columba Silouan.
Major Interruption / Time to Reflect
When the summer of 2007 ended, my intention was to begin regular blogging again. On October the 26th, while I was enjoying a weekend with a couple of vacation days tacked on, my entire billing department was laid off from my company.
When I returned the next Wednesday, a co-worker said: "Are you okay? they just moved the entire accounting function to Atlanta."
I looked at him and said: "Well, I'm certainly not going with them!"
I found out very quickly that all of our jobs had been eliminated. Blogging would have to wait while I used my home computer for a more urgent need: Finding a new job.
Well, my new job at Western Union starts on Thursday, January the 10th. I'm home sick today, so it's time to break the ice and throw this update out there.
There are two Bible Studies going on near Parker at the current time: A women's Bible Study attended by my wife has four regular attendees. The men's Bible Study is being hosted on Thursday evenings at my house and is being led by a fine fellow from my parish. We had three men in attendance the last time.
There is a verse which states "Do not despise the day of small beginnings." That's one I'm hanging on to at the current time.
My dreams for a thriving and vital Western Rite Orthodox parish in Parker are still alive. I really want to break the mold and have a Ransomed Hearts flavor to this parish while maintaining Orthodox forms and piety.
I just saw a special on the Black Entertainment Network about one Bishop Ken Ulmer, a black pastor of a Los Angeles mega-church. His denomination is a Full Gospel denomination where he was recently ordained as a "bishop."
There are many aspects of Full Gospel Theology that parallel Orthodox Theology. One aspect of this is Lordship / Conditional salvation. Another aspect is Synergy. The gospel of the Full Gospel crowd and leaders like Jack Hayford, for instance is closer to Eastern Orthodoxy than other branches of Protestantism. In my pre-Orthodox days, I ran into bedrock truths through the Full Gospel movement that paved the way for my eventual recognition of and conversion to Orthodoxy.
The Reverend Ken Ulmer not a bishop in the Eastern Orthodox sense, but he struck me as a humble and God fearing man who is very genuine.
How can we as Orthodox Christians capture the zeal of such men and, from our perspective, heterodox ministries, while retaining our orthodoxy?
I think that it's important that we find a way to bridge these two worlds and get it done. Looking in on a Black Church made me aware of how much work remains to be done. Orthodoxy needs to be more than a "white person's church."
Orthodox Navel-Gazing is not an option that Christ and the Trinity will appreciate come judgment day.
I've mentioned John Eldredge on this blog before, too. These "pre-orthodox" Christian believers are frequently more faith-filled and more expectant than we are.
God fills all things and He will use humble and faith-filled heterodox Christians if we as Orthodox Christians fail to step up and step out. They will get invited to the wedding feast with proper wedding garments while those of us who ostensibly should have our proper Orthodox wedding garments on get shown the door.
I've come to the following conclusion: Heterodox Christians who have a deficient christianity will nevertheless do more with their deficient christianity if they have more faith then we do and more humility than we do. God will work in this world with or without our Orthodox cooperation.
We have to trust and expect God to work in our lives and in the world through us. Faith IN God is just as important as faith about the facts of God.
May God bless Bishop Ulmer and bring him slowly and surely to a place where Orthodox Catholic Christianity enters his frame of reference and converts his heart more deeply to Him. And may God convert our Orthodox hearts to as deep a level as the heart of Bishop Ulmer's.
If you add his real zeal to even better knowledge, look out!
We need to pray for this to happen in the lives of the best heterodox christian leaders. They can be even more effective for Christ than they are, and help the rest of us, too. Some of these men and women can become the future Saints of the Orthodox church. They just need to be introduced to it.
Christ is in our midst!
Columba Silouan
When I returned the next Wednesday, a co-worker said: "Are you okay? they just moved the entire accounting function to Atlanta."
I looked at him and said: "Well, I'm certainly not going with them!"
I found out very quickly that all of our jobs had been eliminated. Blogging would have to wait while I used my home computer for a more urgent need: Finding a new job.
Well, my new job at Western Union starts on Thursday, January the 10th. I'm home sick today, so it's time to break the ice and throw this update out there.
There are two Bible Studies going on near Parker at the current time: A women's Bible Study attended by my wife has four regular attendees. The men's Bible Study is being hosted on Thursday evenings at my house and is being led by a fine fellow from my parish. We had three men in attendance the last time.
There is a verse which states "Do not despise the day of small beginnings." That's one I'm hanging on to at the current time.
My dreams for a thriving and vital Western Rite Orthodox parish in Parker are still alive. I really want to break the mold and have a Ransomed Hearts flavor to this parish while maintaining Orthodox forms and piety.
I just saw a special on the Black Entertainment Network about one Bishop Ken Ulmer, a black pastor of a Los Angeles mega-church. His denomination is a Full Gospel denomination where he was recently ordained as a "bishop."
There are many aspects of Full Gospel Theology that parallel Orthodox Theology. One aspect of this is Lordship / Conditional salvation. Another aspect is Synergy. The gospel of the Full Gospel crowd and leaders like Jack Hayford, for instance is closer to Eastern Orthodoxy than other branches of Protestantism. In my pre-Orthodox days, I ran into bedrock truths through the Full Gospel movement that paved the way for my eventual recognition of and conversion to Orthodoxy.
The Reverend Ken Ulmer not a bishop in the Eastern Orthodox sense, but he struck me as a humble and God fearing man who is very genuine.
How can we as Orthodox Christians capture the zeal of such men and, from our perspective, heterodox ministries, while retaining our orthodoxy?
I think that it's important that we find a way to bridge these two worlds and get it done. Looking in on a Black Church made me aware of how much work remains to be done. Orthodoxy needs to be more than a "white person's church."
Orthodox Navel-Gazing is not an option that Christ and the Trinity will appreciate come judgment day.
I've mentioned John Eldredge on this blog before, too. These "pre-orthodox" Christian believers are frequently more faith-filled and more expectant than we are.
God fills all things and He will use humble and faith-filled heterodox Christians if we as Orthodox Christians fail to step up and step out. They will get invited to the wedding feast with proper wedding garments while those of us who ostensibly should have our proper Orthodox wedding garments on get shown the door.
I've come to the following conclusion: Heterodox Christians who have a deficient christianity will nevertheless do more with their deficient christianity if they have more faith then we do and more humility than we do. God will work in this world with or without our Orthodox cooperation.
We have to trust and expect God to work in our lives and in the world through us. Faith IN God is just as important as faith about the facts of God.
May God bless Bishop Ulmer and bring him slowly and surely to a place where Orthodox Catholic Christianity enters his frame of reference and converts his heart more deeply to Him. And may God convert our Orthodox hearts to as deep a level as the heart of Bishop Ulmer's.
If you add his real zeal to even better knowledge, look out!
We need to pray for this to happen in the lives of the best heterodox christian leaders. They can be even more effective for Christ than they are, and help the rest of us, too. Some of these men and women can become the future Saints of the Orthodox church. They just need to be introduced to it.
Christ is in our midst!
Columba Silouan
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Orthodox Implications of Marriage
I recently purchased a book on marriage called Preserve Them O Lord by Fr. John Mack.
During my time of learning about Orthodoxy, I came across the Orthodox belief that our marriages have an eternal dimension to them. Such a belief offers many implications for our earthly lives.
As a Protestant, I was taught that human marriage ceases after death. This is probably also a common Roman Catholic belief. But in Eastern Orthodoxy, your marriage continues into eternity! How that works is yet unclear to me as a recent convert, but you don't have to be completely clear about it in order to realize some implications.
Now this Orthodox Christian belief should not be confused with the Mormon belief in "celestial marriage" or the Muslim belief in the 70 virgins! After all, Christ did tell the skeptic Sadducees that in heaven men neither marry nor are women given in marriage but are as the angels in heaven. But Jesus was speaking to the ancient Jewish belief that the primary role of marriage was procreation. Christianity exalted marriage to the status of Icon of the mystical bond between Christ and his Bride, the church.
And as such an icon, marriage must therefore be eternal in some way! The relationship between Christ and his Bride is eternal, so our marriages must reflect that or the icon is defaced.
But more to the point and down to brass tacks, what does the Orthodox belief in the eternality of our marriages mean for us as Christians?
I intend to expand on this topic very soon, but suffice it to say at the moment that such a belief can actually offer people hope when they reason out the implications.
For many people, the thought that their present miserable or disappointing marriage might continue forever is akin to a sentence of eternal damnation! But such a view is short-sighted.
In Orthodoxy, a marriage absolutely doesn't have to stay miserable but can be tranformed into something heavenly. If we allowed this Orthodox perspective to really sink in, we might realize the following things:
First, if we carry our marriage cross faithfully throughout this life, we will be rewarded for it in the life to come. Any imperfections in our marriages and any imperfections in us can be totally redeemed in the life to come.
Think about it! That person you are married to might become, to quote C.S. Lewis, a creature in heaven that if you were to see him or her now, you might be tempted to worship!
Anything we are deeply dissapointed in will be resolved in eternity, provided that we remain faithful and obedient.
If God has promised to wipe away the tears from all faces, well, you do the math if you are currently in a marriage that is painful or a present source of sorrow.
The promise is there: In Orthodoxy the person you are married to RIGHT NOW can be someone you will be ETERNALLY happy with.
The deepest love, joy and contentment IN YOUR PRESENT CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE can and will happen in the world to come. This provides a strong motivation to hang in there with your marriage.
"And they lived happily ever after."
In Orthodoxy, this is really a promise. It might not happen right now, in this temporal life, but it can and will happen in the world to come.
There is only one condition, although it is a tough one:
We must completely lay down our earthly lives for Christ and our marriage partner. But in this requirement, there is also the good news that Christ has provided his Church and the Sacraments to assist us in this journey.
Perhaps many people would quit searching for "the one person I was meant for" if they realized that the person they married is precisely that. The myth of "the Golden Person" has caused the death of many marriages. People in our day and age go from partner to partner and never find the person they are looking for when the first person they married could have been that person if they had made the decision to live the Orthodox Christian life in its fulness.
This Orthodox teaching, properly understood and communicated to others actually has the potential to strenghten the resolve of Christians of all types to stick with their first marriages.
More on this subject very soon. Count on some C.S. Lewis and John Eldredge quotes thrown in for good measure!
Columba Siluoan
During my time of learning about Orthodoxy, I came across the Orthodox belief that our marriages have an eternal dimension to them. Such a belief offers many implications for our earthly lives.
As a Protestant, I was taught that human marriage ceases after death. This is probably also a common Roman Catholic belief. But in Eastern Orthodoxy, your marriage continues into eternity! How that works is yet unclear to me as a recent convert, but you don't have to be completely clear about it in order to realize some implications.
Now this Orthodox Christian belief should not be confused with the Mormon belief in "celestial marriage" or the Muslim belief in the 70 virgins! After all, Christ did tell the skeptic Sadducees that in heaven men neither marry nor are women given in marriage but are as the angels in heaven. But Jesus was speaking to the ancient Jewish belief that the primary role of marriage was procreation. Christianity exalted marriage to the status of Icon of the mystical bond between Christ and his Bride, the church.
And as such an icon, marriage must therefore be eternal in some way! The relationship between Christ and his Bride is eternal, so our marriages must reflect that or the icon is defaced.
But more to the point and down to brass tacks, what does the Orthodox belief in the eternality of our marriages mean for us as Christians?
I intend to expand on this topic very soon, but suffice it to say at the moment that such a belief can actually offer people hope when they reason out the implications.
For many people, the thought that their present miserable or disappointing marriage might continue forever is akin to a sentence of eternal damnation! But such a view is short-sighted.
In Orthodoxy, a marriage absolutely doesn't have to stay miserable but can be tranformed into something heavenly. If we allowed this Orthodox perspective to really sink in, we might realize the following things:
First, if we carry our marriage cross faithfully throughout this life, we will be rewarded for it in the life to come. Any imperfections in our marriages and any imperfections in us can be totally redeemed in the life to come.
Think about it! That person you are married to might become, to quote C.S. Lewis, a creature in heaven that if you were to see him or her now, you might be tempted to worship!
Anything we are deeply dissapointed in will be resolved in eternity, provided that we remain faithful and obedient.
If God has promised to wipe away the tears from all faces, well, you do the math if you are currently in a marriage that is painful or a present source of sorrow.
The promise is there: In Orthodoxy the person you are married to RIGHT NOW can be someone you will be ETERNALLY happy with.
The deepest love, joy and contentment IN YOUR PRESENT CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE can and will happen in the world to come. This provides a strong motivation to hang in there with your marriage.
"And they lived happily ever after."
In Orthodoxy, this is really a promise. It might not happen right now, in this temporal life, but it can and will happen in the world to come.
There is only one condition, although it is a tough one:
We must completely lay down our earthly lives for Christ and our marriage partner. But in this requirement, there is also the good news that Christ has provided his Church and the Sacraments to assist us in this journey.
Perhaps many people would quit searching for "the one person I was meant for" if they realized that the person they married is precisely that. The myth of "the Golden Person" has caused the death of many marriages. People in our day and age go from partner to partner and never find the person they are looking for when the first person they married could have been that person if they had made the decision to live the Orthodox Christian life in its fulness.
This Orthodox teaching, properly understood and communicated to others actually has the potential to strenghten the resolve of Christians of all types to stick with their first marriages.
More on this subject very soon. Count on some C.S. Lewis and John Eldredge quotes thrown in for good measure!
Columba Siluoan
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
How 'Bout Those Rockies!?
Along with most of the rest of the Colorado population I've been swept up in Rockies Fever.
I really never thought "World Series" and Colorado Rockies would be in the same sentence.
On Monday, October the 15th, I was able to obtain NLCS Home Game Two tickets for me, my wife and my son Adam. Although Adam has been to a number of Avalanche Hockey games, this NLCS game was his first major league ballgame.
Adam, aged 5, made it all the way through the sixth inning before falling asleep for the rest of the game.
I taught him to crack open peanuts and munch away.
It was always a dream of mine to take my son to a ballgame. Now that dream has been realized.
On the Parker Orthodox front, one of the parishioners of Saint Marks is doing a homework assignment involving research of the Parker area for a possible new WR Orthdox parish. He plans to interview me in coming days.
Life at Saint Marks is going well. The recent growth spurt continues with more than 20 people being scheduled for Chrismation over the next few weeks.
The parish has had a makeover with the addition of a new wing and a remodel of the parish hall.
These are truly exciting times to be living in Denver, both on the Sports front and on the WR Orthodox front.
Pax Christi,
Columba Silouan
I really never thought "World Series" and Colorado Rockies would be in the same sentence.
On Monday, October the 15th, I was able to obtain NLCS Home Game Two tickets for me, my wife and my son Adam. Although Adam has been to a number of Avalanche Hockey games, this NLCS game was his first major league ballgame.
Adam, aged 5, made it all the way through the sixth inning before falling asleep for the rest of the game.
I taught him to crack open peanuts and munch away.
It was always a dream of mine to take my son to a ballgame. Now that dream has been realized.
On the Parker Orthodox front, one of the parishioners of Saint Marks is doing a homework assignment involving research of the Parker area for a possible new WR Orthdox parish. He plans to interview me in coming days.
Life at Saint Marks is going well. The recent growth spurt continues with more than 20 people being scheduled for Chrismation over the next few weeks.
The parish has had a makeover with the addition of a new wing and a remodel of the parish hall.
These are truly exciting times to be living in Denver, both on the Sports front and on the WR Orthodox front.
Pax Christi,
Columba Silouan
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Back from a Summer Hiatus
Now that fall is just around the corner, it's time to take keyboard in hand and start blogging again.
The Summer of 2007 has brought many changes. One of these is a new job at my same company under a Christian supervisor as an Accounting Specialist in the Billing Dept.
I thank God for this, as my previous position had degenerated into job duties that were less than "professional office work" which I need as a bare minimum to not consider myself a complete failure.
My dreams for a "Summer of promoting Orthodoxy" fell a bit short. But God was as work anyway. Saint Mark's is experiencing growth and our priest has developed a deep interest in the writings of Archimandrite Zacharias, Saint Sophrany and Saint Silouan, my patron Saint.
My old spiritual director who was actually a young priest of around my age has moved on to a mission in Fort Collins and I have a new and older spiritual father and have good hopes for renewed spiritual progress and growth under his direction.
The Lord continues to bless my family: My wife and kids are thriving and I am becoming more at ease in my role as a husband and father.
Now I need to think about changing my name legally again to Columba Silouan and about how I might go about picking up the threads I laid down about promoting Holy Orthodoxy in Parker.
So "to it" once again! But this time in a more subdued and prayerful demeanor.
Blessings!
Columcille Siluoan
The Summer of 2007 has brought many changes. One of these is a new job at my same company under a Christian supervisor as an Accounting Specialist in the Billing Dept.
I thank God for this, as my previous position had degenerated into job duties that were less than "professional office work" which I need as a bare minimum to not consider myself a complete failure.
My dreams for a "Summer of promoting Orthodoxy" fell a bit short. But God was as work anyway. Saint Mark's is experiencing growth and our priest has developed a deep interest in the writings of Archimandrite Zacharias, Saint Sophrany and Saint Silouan, my patron Saint.
My old spiritual director who was actually a young priest of around my age has moved on to a mission in Fort Collins and I have a new and older spiritual father and have good hopes for renewed spiritual progress and growth under his direction.
The Lord continues to bless my family: My wife and kids are thriving and I am becoming more at ease in my role as a husband and father.
Now I need to think about changing my name legally again to Columba Silouan and about how I might go about picking up the threads I laid down about promoting Holy Orthodoxy in Parker.
So "to it" once again! But this time in a more subdued and prayerful demeanor.
Blessings!
Columcille Siluoan
Monday, July 2, 2007
The Pontificator Ends His Blog
The Pontificator, Fr. Al Kimmel, a former Episcopal priest who converted to the Roman Catholic Church and who inspired many to convert to Roman Catholicism or Eastern Orthodoxy is ending his blog.
I found his concluding thoughts to be profound. They reminded me of some of the things John Eldredge has said, and they rang true to my own experience as a recent convert to Eastern Orthodoxy.
Just finding what we believe to be The Church doesn't automatically heal all of our disappointments and heartbreaks. These just remind us that we have yet to reach our true home.
Namárië
27 June 2007
Dear friends,
The conviction has been growing upon my heart that it is time for me to cease blogging. This conviction firmly settled two weekends ago during my attendance at the "Orthodox Readings of Augustine" conference at Fordham. It was a most interesting and encouraging conference. It was refreshing to hear Orthodox scholars eschewing the anti-Catholic polemics and caricatures that have become typical within Orthodox discourse during the past fifty years.
In addition to the fine presentations, several people came up to me and introduced themselves as regular readers of Pontifications. Yet when I returned home, I knew that it was time for me to bring Pontifications to closure. As the preacher says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
I began my blog as a way to work through, both intellectually and emotionally, the crisis of conscience caused by the election of Gene Robinson to the episcopate. I knew that I could no longer summon individuals into the communion of the Episcopal Church. What was I to do? I had been a priest for over 20 years. I knew that I could not join one of the multiple Anglican sects.
The fall of the Episcopal Church into heresy had convinced me that Protestantism was incapable of standing against the corrosive tides of modernity. There were only three options for me-Catholicism, Orthodoxy, or agnosticism.
After two years of deliberation, I found myself, much to my surprise, drawn into the communion of the Catholic Church. Becoming Catholic has brought many blessings, but it has not healed the sorrows of my heart. Indeed, in some ways it has intensified these sorrows. But this is all very private. All I need say is that I often find them overwhelming. God is silent. I am reduced to silence.
On the way home to the Shire, Gandalf sees the discomfort of Frodo:
"Are you in pain, Frodo?" "Well, yes I am," said Frodo. "It is my shoulder. The wound aches, and the memory of darkness is heavy on me. It was a year ago today." "Alas! There are some wounds that cannot be wholly cured," said Gandalf.
When compared to the devastating injuries-physical, emotional, and spiritual-that so many people in the world must endure, mine seem minor and trifling. Yet the burden is real.
Over the past few years God has stripped away the loves and passions of my heart. Even the words seem to be disappearing. Writing has become impossible-and prayer, difficult.
I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you which shall be the darkness of God. (T. S. Elliot)
I wish to thank all who have faithfully read Pontifications over the past three years.
I give you all joy.
Under the Mercy,
Fr. Alvin Kimmel
It is my prayer that whatever is causing Fr. Al's pain will be healed by time and the ministrations of the Holy Trinity.
Columba Silouan
I found his concluding thoughts to be profound. They reminded me of some of the things John Eldredge has said, and they rang true to my own experience as a recent convert to Eastern Orthodoxy.
Just finding what we believe to be The Church doesn't automatically heal all of our disappointments and heartbreaks. These just remind us that we have yet to reach our true home.
Namárië
27 June 2007
Dear friends,
The conviction has been growing upon my heart that it is time for me to cease blogging. This conviction firmly settled two weekends ago during my attendance at the "Orthodox Readings of Augustine" conference at Fordham. It was a most interesting and encouraging conference. It was refreshing to hear Orthodox scholars eschewing the anti-Catholic polemics and caricatures that have become typical within Orthodox discourse during the past fifty years.
In addition to the fine presentations, several people came up to me and introduced themselves as regular readers of Pontifications. Yet when I returned home, I knew that it was time for me to bring Pontifications to closure. As the preacher says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
I began my blog as a way to work through, both intellectually and emotionally, the crisis of conscience caused by the election of Gene Robinson to the episcopate. I knew that I could no longer summon individuals into the communion of the Episcopal Church. What was I to do? I had been a priest for over 20 years. I knew that I could not join one of the multiple Anglican sects.
The fall of the Episcopal Church into heresy had convinced me that Protestantism was incapable of standing against the corrosive tides of modernity. There were only three options for me-Catholicism, Orthodoxy, or agnosticism.
After two years of deliberation, I found myself, much to my surprise, drawn into the communion of the Catholic Church. Becoming Catholic has brought many blessings, but it has not healed the sorrows of my heart. Indeed, in some ways it has intensified these sorrows. But this is all very private. All I need say is that I often find them overwhelming. God is silent. I am reduced to silence.
On the way home to the Shire, Gandalf sees the discomfort of Frodo:
"Are you in pain, Frodo?" "Well, yes I am," said Frodo. "It is my shoulder. The wound aches, and the memory of darkness is heavy on me. It was a year ago today." "Alas! There are some wounds that cannot be wholly cured," said Gandalf.
When compared to the devastating injuries-physical, emotional, and spiritual-that so many people in the world must endure, mine seem minor and trifling. Yet the burden is real.
Over the past few years God has stripped away the loves and passions of my heart. Even the words seem to be disappearing. Writing has become impossible-and prayer, difficult.
I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you which shall be the darkness of God. (T. S. Elliot)
I wish to thank all who have faithfully read Pontifications over the past three years.
I give you all joy.
Under the Mercy,
Fr. Alvin Kimmel
It is my prayer that whatever is causing Fr. Al's pain will be healed by time and the ministrations of the Holy Trinity.
Columba Silouan
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