I recently purchased a book on marriage called Preserve Them O Lord by Fr. John Mack.
During my time of learning about Orthodoxy, I came across the Orthodox belief that our marriages have an eternal dimension to them. Such a belief offers many implications for our earthly lives.
As a Protestant, I was taught that human marriage ceases after death. This is probably also a common Roman Catholic belief. But in Eastern Orthodoxy, your marriage continues into eternity! How that works is yet unclear to me as a recent convert, but you don't have to be completely clear about it in order to realize some implications.
Now this Orthodox Christian belief should not be confused with the Mormon belief in "celestial marriage" or the Muslim belief in the 70 virgins! After all, Christ did tell the skeptic Sadducees that in heaven men neither marry nor are women given in marriage but are as the angels in heaven. But Jesus was speaking to the ancient Jewish belief that the primary role of marriage was procreation. Christianity exalted marriage to the status of Icon of the mystical bond between Christ and his Bride, the church.
And as such an icon, marriage must therefore be eternal in some way! The relationship between Christ and his Bride is eternal, so our marriages must reflect that or the icon is defaced.
But more to the point and down to brass tacks, what does the Orthodox belief in the eternality of our marriages mean for us as Christians?
I intend to expand on this topic very soon, but suffice it to say at the moment that such a belief can actually offer people hope when they reason out the implications.
For many people, the thought that their present miserable or disappointing marriage might continue forever is akin to a sentence of eternal damnation! But such a view is short-sighted.
In Orthodoxy, a marriage absolutely doesn't have to stay miserable but can be tranformed into something heavenly. If we allowed this Orthodox perspective to really sink in, we might realize the following things:
First, if we carry our marriage cross faithfully throughout this life, we will be rewarded for it in the life to come. Any imperfections in our marriages and any imperfections in us can be totally redeemed in the life to come.
Think about it! That person you are married to might become, to quote C.S. Lewis, a creature in heaven that if you were to see him or her now, you might be tempted to worship!
Anything we are deeply dissapointed in will be resolved in eternity, provided that we remain faithful and obedient.
If God has promised to wipe away the tears from all faces, well, you do the math if you are currently in a marriage that is painful or a present source of sorrow.
The promise is there: In Orthodoxy the person you are married to RIGHT NOW can be someone you will be ETERNALLY happy with.
The deepest love, joy and contentment IN YOUR PRESENT CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE can and will happen in the world to come. This provides a strong motivation to hang in there with your marriage.
"And they lived happily ever after."
In Orthodoxy, this is really a promise. It might not happen right now, in this temporal life, but it can and will happen in the world to come.
There is only one condition, although it is a tough one:
We must completely lay down our earthly lives for Christ and our marriage partner. But in this requirement, there is also the good news that Christ has provided his Church and the Sacraments to assist us in this journey.
Perhaps many people would quit searching for "the one person I was meant for" if they realized that the person they married is precisely that. The myth of "the Golden Person" has caused the death of many marriages. People in our day and age go from partner to partner and never find the person they are looking for when the first person they married could have been that person if they had made the decision to live the Orthodox Christian life in its fulness.
This Orthodox teaching, properly understood and communicated to others actually has the potential to strenghten the resolve of Christians of all types to stick with their first marriages.
More on this subject very soon. Count on some C.S. Lewis and John Eldredge quotes thrown in for good measure!
Columba Siluoan
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
How 'Bout Those Rockies!?
Along with most of the rest of the Colorado population I've been swept up in Rockies Fever.
I really never thought "World Series" and Colorado Rockies would be in the same sentence.
On Monday, October the 15th, I was able to obtain NLCS Home Game Two tickets for me, my wife and my son Adam. Although Adam has been to a number of Avalanche Hockey games, this NLCS game was his first major league ballgame.
Adam, aged 5, made it all the way through the sixth inning before falling asleep for the rest of the game.
I taught him to crack open peanuts and munch away.
It was always a dream of mine to take my son to a ballgame. Now that dream has been realized.
On the Parker Orthodox front, one of the parishioners of Saint Marks is doing a homework assignment involving research of the Parker area for a possible new WR Orthdox parish. He plans to interview me in coming days.
Life at Saint Marks is going well. The recent growth spurt continues with more than 20 people being scheduled for Chrismation over the next few weeks.
The parish has had a makeover with the addition of a new wing and a remodel of the parish hall.
These are truly exciting times to be living in Denver, both on the Sports front and on the WR Orthodox front.
Pax Christi,
Columba Silouan
I really never thought "World Series" and Colorado Rockies would be in the same sentence.
On Monday, October the 15th, I was able to obtain NLCS Home Game Two tickets for me, my wife and my son Adam. Although Adam has been to a number of Avalanche Hockey games, this NLCS game was his first major league ballgame.
Adam, aged 5, made it all the way through the sixth inning before falling asleep for the rest of the game.
I taught him to crack open peanuts and munch away.
It was always a dream of mine to take my son to a ballgame. Now that dream has been realized.
On the Parker Orthodox front, one of the parishioners of Saint Marks is doing a homework assignment involving research of the Parker area for a possible new WR Orthdox parish. He plans to interview me in coming days.
Life at Saint Marks is going well. The recent growth spurt continues with more than 20 people being scheduled for Chrismation over the next few weeks.
The parish has had a makeover with the addition of a new wing and a remodel of the parish hall.
These are truly exciting times to be living in Denver, both on the Sports front and on the WR Orthodox front.
Pax Christi,
Columba Silouan
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Back from a Summer Hiatus
Now that fall is just around the corner, it's time to take keyboard in hand and start blogging again.
The Summer of 2007 has brought many changes. One of these is a new job at my same company under a Christian supervisor as an Accounting Specialist in the Billing Dept.
I thank God for this, as my previous position had degenerated into job duties that were less than "professional office work" which I need as a bare minimum to not consider myself a complete failure.
My dreams for a "Summer of promoting Orthodoxy" fell a bit short. But God was as work anyway. Saint Mark's is experiencing growth and our priest has developed a deep interest in the writings of Archimandrite Zacharias, Saint Sophrany and Saint Silouan, my patron Saint.
My old spiritual director who was actually a young priest of around my age has moved on to a mission in Fort Collins and I have a new and older spiritual father and have good hopes for renewed spiritual progress and growth under his direction.
The Lord continues to bless my family: My wife and kids are thriving and I am becoming more at ease in my role as a husband and father.
Now I need to think about changing my name legally again to Columba Silouan and about how I might go about picking up the threads I laid down about promoting Holy Orthodoxy in Parker.
So "to it" once again! But this time in a more subdued and prayerful demeanor.
Blessings!
Columcille Siluoan
The Summer of 2007 has brought many changes. One of these is a new job at my same company under a Christian supervisor as an Accounting Specialist in the Billing Dept.
I thank God for this, as my previous position had degenerated into job duties that were less than "professional office work" which I need as a bare minimum to not consider myself a complete failure.
My dreams for a "Summer of promoting Orthodoxy" fell a bit short. But God was as work anyway. Saint Mark's is experiencing growth and our priest has developed a deep interest in the writings of Archimandrite Zacharias, Saint Sophrany and Saint Silouan, my patron Saint.
My old spiritual director who was actually a young priest of around my age has moved on to a mission in Fort Collins and I have a new and older spiritual father and have good hopes for renewed spiritual progress and growth under his direction.
The Lord continues to bless my family: My wife and kids are thriving and I am becoming more at ease in my role as a husband and father.
Now I need to think about changing my name legally again to Columba Silouan and about how I might go about picking up the threads I laid down about promoting Holy Orthodoxy in Parker.
So "to it" once again! But this time in a more subdued and prayerful demeanor.
Blessings!
Columcille Siluoan
Monday, July 2, 2007
The Pontificator Ends His Blog
The Pontificator, Fr. Al Kimmel, a former Episcopal priest who converted to the Roman Catholic Church and who inspired many to convert to Roman Catholicism or Eastern Orthodoxy is ending his blog.
I found his concluding thoughts to be profound. They reminded me of some of the things John Eldredge has said, and they rang true to my own experience as a recent convert to Eastern Orthodoxy.
Just finding what we believe to be The Church doesn't automatically heal all of our disappointments and heartbreaks. These just remind us that we have yet to reach our true home.
Namárië
27 June 2007
Dear friends,
The conviction has been growing upon my heart that it is time for me to cease blogging. This conviction firmly settled two weekends ago during my attendance at the "Orthodox Readings of Augustine" conference at Fordham. It was a most interesting and encouraging conference. It was refreshing to hear Orthodox scholars eschewing the anti-Catholic polemics and caricatures that have become typical within Orthodox discourse during the past fifty years.
In addition to the fine presentations, several people came up to me and introduced themselves as regular readers of Pontifications. Yet when I returned home, I knew that it was time for me to bring Pontifications to closure. As the preacher says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
I began my blog as a way to work through, both intellectually and emotionally, the crisis of conscience caused by the election of Gene Robinson to the episcopate. I knew that I could no longer summon individuals into the communion of the Episcopal Church. What was I to do? I had been a priest for over 20 years. I knew that I could not join one of the multiple Anglican sects.
The fall of the Episcopal Church into heresy had convinced me that Protestantism was incapable of standing against the corrosive tides of modernity. There were only three options for me-Catholicism, Orthodoxy, or agnosticism.
After two years of deliberation, I found myself, much to my surprise, drawn into the communion of the Catholic Church. Becoming Catholic has brought many blessings, but it has not healed the sorrows of my heart. Indeed, in some ways it has intensified these sorrows. But this is all very private. All I need say is that I often find them overwhelming. God is silent. I am reduced to silence.
On the way home to the Shire, Gandalf sees the discomfort of Frodo:
"Are you in pain, Frodo?" "Well, yes I am," said Frodo. "It is my shoulder. The wound aches, and the memory of darkness is heavy on me. It was a year ago today." "Alas! There are some wounds that cannot be wholly cured," said Gandalf.
When compared to the devastating injuries-physical, emotional, and spiritual-that so many people in the world must endure, mine seem minor and trifling. Yet the burden is real.
Over the past few years God has stripped away the loves and passions of my heart. Even the words seem to be disappearing. Writing has become impossible-and prayer, difficult.
I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you which shall be the darkness of God. (T. S. Elliot)
I wish to thank all who have faithfully read Pontifications over the past three years.
I give you all joy.
Under the Mercy,
Fr. Alvin Kimmel
It is my prayer that whatever is causing Fr. Al's pain will be healed by time and the ministrations of the Holy Trinity.
Columba Silouan
I found his concluding thoughts to be profound. They reminded me of some of the things John Eldredge has said, and they rang true to my own experience as a recent convert to Eastern Orthodoxy.
Just finding what we believe to be The Church doesn't automatically heal all of our disappointments and heartbreaks. These just remind us that we have yet to reach our true home.
Namárië
27 June 2007
Dear friends,
The conviction has been growing upon my heart that it is time for me to cease blogging. This conviction firmly settled two weekends ago during my attendance at the "Orthodox Readings of Augustine" conference at Fordham. It was a most interesting and encouraging conference. It was refreshing to hear Orthodox scholars eschewing the anti-Catholic polemics and caricatures that have become typical within Orthodox discourse during the past fifty years.
In addition to the fine presentations, several people came up to me and introduced themselves as regular readers of Pontifications. Yet when I returned home, I knew that it was time for me to bring Pontifications to closure. As the preacher says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
I began my blog as a way to work through, both intellectually and emotionally, the crisis of conscience caused by the election of Gene Robinson to the episcopate. I knew that I could no longer summon individuals into the communion of the Episcopal Church. What was I to do? I had been a priest for over 20 years. I knew that I could not join one of the multiple Anglican sects.
The fall of the Episcopal Church into heresy had convinced me that Protestantism was incapable of standing against the corrosive tides of modernity. There were only three options for me-Catholicism, Orthodoxy, or agnosticism.
After two years of deliberation, I found myself, much to my surprise, drawn into the communion of the Catholic Church. Becoming Catholic has brought many blessings, but it has not healed the sorrows of my heart. Indeed, in some ways it has intensified these sorrows. But this is all very private. All I need say is that I often find them overwhelming. God is silent. I am reduced to silence.
On the way home to the Shire, Gandalf sees the discomfort of Frodo:
"Are you in pain, Frodo?" "Well, yes I am," said Frodo. "It is my shoulder. The wound aches, and the memory of darkness is heavy on me. It was a year ago today." "Alas! There are some wounds that cannot be wholly cured," said Gandalf.
When compared to the devastating injuries-physical, emotional, and spiritual-that so many people in the world must endure, mine seem minor and trifling. Yet the burden is real.
Over the past few years God has stripped away the loves and passions of my heart. Even the words seem to be disappearing. Writing has become impossible-and prayer, difficult.
I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you which shall be the darkness of God. (T. S. Elliot)
I wish to thank all who have faithfully read Pontifications over the past three years.
I give you all joy.
Under the Mercy,
Fr. Alvin Kimmel
It is my prayer that whatever is causing Fr. Al's pain will be healed by time and the ministrations of the Holy Trinity.
Columba Silouan
Thursday, June 7, 2007
From Orthodox Blogdom: Liturgy Ideas
Collin Michael Nunis said...
"Judging from the texts I've read and studied, I find both the "Tikhonian" and "Gregorian" liturgies to be beautiful, even though I have yet to attend one.
However, as time passes by, I think it would be good to develop a new liturgy based on both the Tikhonian and Gregorian in both traditional and contemporary English (ala 1979 BCP, minus theological/doctrinal compromises), ensuring that the "best of both the Western-Rite worlds (Roman and Anglican) will be found in this liturgy.
I do not know what others would think, but I believe that a fairly good place to start would be expanding the Roman Catholic Book of Divine Worship's (RC equivalent of BCP) Rite I and Rite II. I do not know how kindly this will be looked upon but if it is possible, that would be great.
By doing this, I think that we will not be selling out to anyone or be "pleasing" to anyone, but rather, make room for the younger generation to understand the depths and beauty of Orthodoxy.
With the Western Rite, not only has it recaptured something it "lost", but has made Orthodoxy more accessible. I'm just hoping to take the accessibility one step further.
Theological correctness for the Eucharistic part of the liturgy is the most important. We should never compromise that. While I am aware that Met. Philip promised no Byzantinisation of the Western Rite, I do not think that using the Byzantine Eucharistic prayer will make the Western Rite less Western."
From these comments, dear readers, we can see that the desire to make Orthodoxy more "accessible" is still alive and well.
I don't know about his idea of a "new" WR liturgy derived from both the Liturgy of Saint Tikhon and the Liturgy of Saint Gregory, but a modern language equivalent for each along the lines of the English Standard version of the Bible might provide at least a shadow of an idea in this direction.
We should consider the Greek Orthodox Church in this regard. Many of their parishes are not allergic to using "you" as opposed to "Thee" in their English translations of the Eastern Rite.
It's kind of silly if we become absolutists on this point if the Greeks aren't that concerned about it. Being addicted to Thees, Thous, Thys and Thines at the expense of potential conversions to Holy Orthodoxy seems to be like straining at gnats while swallowing camels.
Just some thoughts.
Columba Silouan
"Judging from the texts I've read and studied, I find both the "Tikhonian" and "Gregorian" liturgies to be beautiful, even though I have yet to attend one.
However, as time passes by, I think it would be good to develop a new liturgy based on both the Tikhonian and Gregorian in both traditional and contemporary English (ala 1979 BCP, minus theological/doctrinal compromises), ensuring that the "best of both the Western-Rite worlds (Roman and Anglican) will be found in this liturgy.
I do not know what others would think, but I believe that a fairly good place to start would be expanding the Roman Catholic Book of Divine Worship's (RC equivalent of BCP) Rite I and Rite II. I do not know how kindly this will be looked upon but if it is possible, that would be great.
By doing this, I think that we will not be selling out to anyone or be "pleasing" to anyone, but rather, make room for the younger generation to understand the depths and beauty of Orthodoxy.
With the Western Rite, not only has it recaptured something it "lost", but has made Orthodoxy more accessible. I'm just hoping to take the accessibility one step further.
Theological correctness for the Eucharistic part of the liturgy is the most important. We should never compromise that. While I am aware that Met. Philip promised no Byzantinisation of the Western Rite, I do not think that using the Byzantine Eucharistic prayer will make the Western Rite less Western."
From these comments, dear readers, we can see that the desire to make Orthodoxy more "accessible" is still alive and well.
I don't know about his idea of a "new" WR liturgy derived from both the Liturgy of Saint Tikhon and the Liturgy of Saint Gregory, but a modern language equivalent for each along the lines of the English Standard version of the Bible might provide at least a shadow of an idea in this direction.
We should consider the Greek Orthodox Church in this regard. Many of their parishes are not allergic to using "you" as opposed to "Thee" in their English translations of the Eastern Rite.
It's kind of silly if we become absolutists on this point if the Greeks aren't that concerned about it. Being addicted to Thees, Thous, Thys and Thines at the expense of potential conversions to Holy Orthodoxy seems to be like straining at gnats while swallowing camels.
Just some thoughts.
Columba Silouan
So What's the Latest on THE PROJECT?
The latest news I have on THE PROJECT of getting that ball rolling to begin an Eastern Orthodox Mission in Parker is, quite frankly, not much.
The Bible Study has been slow to resume. A new family is visiting Saint Marks and lives close to us and might be open to some involvement. I'm kicking around a number of ideas to try and regain some momentum.
The positive thing is: Saint Marks is feeling more and more like an old friend to us.
Some of the ideas I have are the following: Draw up and distribute flyers and handbills and paste them up all over Parker with the web address of the blogspot and with my e-mail address. Start a newsletter with the tentative name of the Parker Orthodox Times. Start a book study using the books of John Eldredge with an Eastern Orthodox analysis of each one. Attend a Random Hearts event.
As you can see, I have many ideas. But there is one basic thing I'm lacking at the moment: Guinea pigs to practice all these ideas on. :)
I can't be Orthodox as an individual. To ever see this dream become a reality, I'm going to have to find a "Fellowship of the Heart" to journey with.
Part of this Fellowship will have to be found at my home parish.
But part of this Fellowship will have to be searched for.
My dreams for this new church are many and detailed. I wish to see Western Rite Orthodoxy really take off. I wish to see Western Rite parishes every bit as dynamic and thriving as any AMIA parish or CANA parish out there. Of course, we will have to do our parishes differently, because as Orthodox we operate under different contraints then our Anglican counterparts. But make no mistake: Orthodox with a small "o" Anglicans will be our biggest competitors. Behind them will be the LCMS Lutherans.
Why is it a competition, even though we would prefer it not be? Because we believe that Orthodoxy is Christianity without distortions, at least on a doctrinal level. Now WE can distort things ourselves by the way we live, but at least the beliefs are not distortions. It's hard enough to live lives that aren't distorted. When we add distorted and heretical teachings on top of our already distorted lives, things get really sticky.
I have started to pray that someday all the "orthodox" Anglicans will see the light and come home to Holy Orthodoxy. I also pray that as Orthodox Christians, we and our leaders will prepare for and get ready for such an event. We need to pray for our Bishops and other leaders to have deep wisdom about how such an event might become possible.
We need to work on our approach without compromising who and what we are.
What we can do: We can have weekly small groups, book and Bible studies, "singspirations," and otherwise emulate aspects of the Evangelical Culture around us without accomodating to that culture. We remain Orthodox but point to the commonalities between us and the Evangelicals around us. When the differences become apparent, we explain how those differences coming from our side of things can bring life.
We may not be able to do "Praise and Worship" during the Mass, but we can do it in the middle of the week and make some of our "dry" Orthodox parishes less dry when it comes to the life of the community. Orthodoxy isn't dry, but we sometimes make it that way by what we do to Orthodoxy. This doesn't have to be our situation.
Columba Silouan
The Bible Study has been slow to resume. A new family is visiting Saint Marks and lives close to us and might be open to some involvement. I'm kicking around a number of ideas to try and regain some momentum.
The positive thing is: Saint Marks is feeling more and more like an old friend to us.
Some of the ideas I have are the following: Draw up and distribute flyers and handbills and paste them up all over Parker with the web address of the blogspot and with my e-mail address. Start a newsletter with the tentative name of the Parker Orthodox Times. Start a book study using the books of John Eldredge with an Eastern Orthodox analysis of each one. Attend a Random Hearts event.
As you can see, I have many ideas. But there is one basic thing I'm lacking at the moment: Guinea pigs to practice all these ideas on. :)
I can't be Orthodox as an individual. To ever see this dream become a reality, I'm going to have to find a "Fellowship of the Heart" to journey with.
Part of this Fellowship will have to be found at my home parish.
But part of this Fellowship will have to be searched for.
My dreams for this new church are many and detailed. I wish to see Western Rite Orthodoxy really take off. I wish to see Western Rite parishes every bit as dynamic and thriving as any AMIA parish or CANA parish out there. Of course, we will have to do our parishes differently, because as Orthodox we operate under different contraints then our Anglican counterparts. But make no mistake: Orthodox with a small "o" Anglicans will be our biggest competitors. Behind them will be the LCMS Lutherans.
Why is it a competition, even though we would prefer it not be? Because we believe that Orthodoxy is Christianity without distortions, at least on a doctrinal level. Now WE can distort things ourselves by the way we live, but at least the beliefs are not distortions. It's hard enough to live lives that aren't distorted. When we add distorted and heretical teachings on top of our already distorted lives, things get really sticky.
I have started to pray that someday all the "orthodox" Anglicans will see the light and come home to Holy Orthodoxy. I also pray that as Orthodox Christians, we and our leaders will prepare for and get ready for such an event. We need to pray for our Bishops and other leaders to have deep wisdom about how such an event might become possible.
We need to work on our approach without compromising who and what we are.
What we can do: We can have weekly small groups, book and Bible studies, "singspirations," and otherwise emulate aspects of the Evangelical Culture around us without accomodating to that culture. We remain Orthodox but point to the commonalities between us and the Evangelicals around us. When the differences become apparent, we explain how those differences coming from our side of things can bring life.
We may not be able to do "Praise and Worship" during the Mass, but we can do it in the middle of the week and make some of our "dry" Orthodox parishes less dry when it comes to the life of the community. Orthodoxy isn't dry, but we sometimes make it that way by what we do to Orthodoxy. This doesn't have to be our situation.
Columba Silouan
Still too much Head, not Enough Heart
Good Evening, Gentle Readers.
After everything that has been said and done on this blog in the past few weeks, I've found that I'm still living too much in my head and not enough in my heart.
I believe this problem comes across in my writing.
I need to remember that I am just at the very beginning of this Orthodox Journey. I'm not even one full year old in the Orthodox Faith, since our Chrismation was August the 20th, 2006.
I thought I read somewhere in Orthodox blogdom that it takes around 10 - 11 years to fully shed all the pre-Orthodox baggage one accumulates before becoming Orthodox.
Yes, I still have some of that baggage. Orthodoxy is true, but the honeymoon is over. My life is still my life and I am still faced with many of the same challenges and disappointments that plagued me before my conversion.
But unlike the past, I keep "waking up" and I keep realizing that, wow! I'm now a member of The Church. I have resources to assist me that I lacked before. And I'm worshipping a God who is very patient and very kind.
There is a new, underlying optimism buried between my habitual pessimism that I developed before becoming Orthodox. The POSSIBILITY of a better life in Christ is more available than before. The barriers facing me are less, although some are still formidable. At least these barriers are not coming from The Church, but instead from this fallen world and from the Adversary.
There is this new possibility: If I want it badly enough, and if I persevere, I have the chance of becoming a REAL Saint. In the past, I already considered myself a saint simply by virtue of "being a Christian." Now I realize that there are SAINTS with a capital S and that I have such a long way to go to become one.
And God's Grace is there in a synergistic way always available to help.
I've made a lot of mistakes, even recently. But now I can practice the Orthodox adage of "you fell, now get up again."
Columba Silouan
After everything that has been said and done on this blog in the past few weeks, I've found that I'm still living too much in my head and not enough in my heart.
I believe this problem comes across in my writing.
I need to remember that I am just at the very beginning of this Orthodox Journey. I'm not even one full year old in the Orthodox Faith, since our Chrismation was August the 20th, 2006.
I thought I read somewhere in Orthodox blogdom that it takes around 10 - 11 years to fully shed all the pre-Orthodox baggage one accumulates before becoming Orthodox.
Yes, I still have some of that baggage. Orthodoxy is true, but the honeymoon is over. My life is still my life and I am still faced with many of the same challenges and disappointments that plagued me before my conversion.
But unlike the past, I keep "waking up" and I keep realizing that, wow! I'm now a member of The Church. I have resources to assist me that I lacked before. And I'm worshipping a God who is very patient and very kind.
There is a new, underlying optimism buried between my habitual pessimism that I developed before becoming Orthodox. The POSSIBILITY of a better life in Christ is more available than before. The barriers facing me are less, although some are still formidable. At least these barriers are not coming from The Church, but instead from this fallen world and from the Adversary.
There is this new possibility: If I want it badly enough, and if I persevere, I have the chance of becoming a REAL Saint. In the past, I already considered myself a saint simply by virtue of "being a Christian." Now I realize that there are SAINTS with a capital S and that I have such a long way to go to become one.
And God's Grace is there in a synergistic way always available to help.
I've made a lot of mistakes, even recently. But now I can practice the Orthodox adage of "you fell, now get up again."
Columba Silouan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
